My “43.5” Week Pregnancy
{TL;DR — due date miscalculations are common, read on for more}
trust your body. trust your baby. trust your intuition.
After miscarrying in 2017, I’ve tracked my menstrual cycles. I know how regular I am.
Since I ditched all synthetic medications around that same time, I now have years & years of calendars filled up with period & ovulation dates. I stopped poisoning my body and harming my fertility with oral contraceptive birth control and learned about natural family planning.
So when I found out I’m pregnant on 2/28/23, I knew exactly my LMP of 2/5 with ovulation most likely occurring on 2/18, which would give an estimated due date of 11/12/23.
Thrilled, excited, and jumping for joy but also slightly paranoid about losing another baby early on, I decided to get a confirmation ultrasound. Without any hospital or prenatal insurance coverage, I wasn’t able to get a dating scan done at a medical facility so I opted to go to a local boutique/entertainment 3D/4D ultrasound center to confirm the pregnancy, the location of the embryo, and the “guess date.” At the cutesy center adorned with stuffed animals with loadable heartbeat microchips & marketing fliers promoting early gender testing, I received the estimated due date of 10/31/23 (hmmm… a 12 day difference between the date calculated from my LMP).
I was absolutely puzzled.
I asked the tech to re-do the baby’s measurement three times, and each time she confirmed that 10/31 was the reading. I went home and scoured my tracking calendar over & over again- nothing in that timeframe in January (around 1/25, based on the 10/31 prediction) would have indicated conception. My husband and I chalked it up to perhaps “implantation bleeding” on 2/5/23 (versus an actual period… questionable since my cycles are light and only last 2–3 days anyway).
This was my first misstep in doubting my intuition and not getting a second opinion (or an actual dating scan reviewed by a radiologist and not the girl down the street selling keepsake ultrasound photography… which is a story for another day. You can read about the implications of ‘entertainment/boutique’ ultrasound sonography here and here, along with several others available through a simple web search).
Fast forward 8 months- pregnancy has been an absolute breeze with zero complications! No partner blood type incompatibility, no Group B strep, no Gestational Diabetes, no hypertension, and no pre-existing health issues prior to pregnancy. Besides a handful of nauseous days in the beginning and a handful of sleepy days full of naps in the middle, my body has transformed and grown life seamlessly and I’m so very grateful.
BUT that 10/31 ”due date” came and went and my licensed midwives dropped me from their care on 11/14 because my time “expired” by hitting the “42 week mark” {all because Shepherd’s Law went into effect in 2021, enacted by Title 310 Chapter 395, licensing midwives through the Oklahoma State Department of Health}
In early March I researched multiple licensed midwives in & around Oklahoma City. Those I called were “already full” for October births (in March!) because clearly there is a lack of these in-demand birth experts in the area. In the state of Oklahoma, licensed midwives book up very quickly and lay-midwives, or ‘unlicensed’ midwives, are hard to come by. Meanwhile, Certified Nurse Midwives (CNMs) are virtually non-existent. Throughout this journey, I’ve heard of 3 of these mythical creatures existing in the entire state. You can imagine what their client load looks like.
I lived in limbo for an entire week, wondering what my next steps could be without prenatal or hospital insurance coverage (though eventually I left my HR Consulting job and got new insurance with my husband’s plan). One of the licensed midwife teams put me on their Waitlist and called me back a week later with an October opening. I quickly swooped up that spot and called it a blessing.
However, it turned out to not be such a blessing all those months later because due to their licensure standards, I was dropped from care the day I hit “42 weeks” (using quotes again because that 10/31 EDD was never actually my due date, as I suspected). Weeks before, I’d brought up the due date discrepancy with my midwives and asked if we could go off of my LMP which was disclosed at the time of establishing care and filling out all of my new client paperwork. I was shut down and told there was no discrepancy- the EDD I’d scribbled into an intake form had been set in stone, despite not ever being verified or completed at a medical facility or reviewed by a radiologist… a date that I simply could have pulled out of thin air.
At the “41 week” mark, I was referred by them for a Medical Consultation (a biophysical profile) at an ultrasound clinic. They said I couldn’t decline it (which I wanted to after researching so much about the dangers of ultrasounds since those early days) or else I’d be immediately dropped from care. Not wanting to lose care, I obliged and received confirmation of healthy baby and amniotic fluid levels. The weekend before hitting the “42 week” mark, I went in for 2 non-stress tests (NSTs) and again, confirmed that all is good and healthy with my baby. Despite all that, I was handed a printout highlighting stillbirth statistics (wow, I’m still actually 40 weeks at this point, can we delay the fear mongering a little longer?) and told to call them on my “cut off date.”
On 11/14 with zero reason to mark me as High Risk, I was suddenly being marked as High Risk all because the clock struck midnight (solely because they decided to take my bullshit ultrasound measurement vs my last menstrual period measurement — trusting machine over nature — to have an excuse to cut me off at “42 weeks” per their licensure standards).
Oh and throughout the third trimester they had me on 1200mg of Magnesium daily, up until that “42 week mark.”
Magnesium.
The muscle relaxer that prevents contractions.
Read more on that here (boyyyy I wish I’d done more research on that one and not trusted their recommendation… how many other women in their care have also been trapped into that web?)
“Are you prepared to head over to the hospital today?” was how the We’re Dropping You From Our Care call started. I was told that THEY would be scheduling ME for an appointment (likely for immediate induction) at a local hospital. I declined the scheduling, noting that I’m perfectly capable of making my own appointments and that if they needed to “check the box” to keep their state licensure in good standing I would give permission to only transfer my records to said hospital.
After ten minutes of going back and forth with the clinic’s owner, repeating my decision to her 7+ times, I was finally able to get my point across in that I wouldn’t be heading on my merry way over to the hospital to be pumped with drugs to start a labor for a baby and body that simply weren’t naturally ready yet. With a newly spiked blood pressure reading (great holistic care for pregnant moms who are supposed to be staying relaxed to allow natural labor hormones to flow in, right?), I was finally able to sign a a “declination of recommended treatment” form and also signed for the release of my midwifery clinic records. {sidenote: I’m well-versed in my HIPAA rights after taking several courses and working in Health Benefits Administration throughout my 15 year career in Human Resources… I recorded the call just in case there were future issues, maybe I’ll even post it here to illustrate what advocating for yourself and your unborn child can look like.}
And they never sent any records over.
And they never called me ever again to check in on me or baby.
I let my body relax over the next week, knowing my original “cut off date” should have always been 11/26 (based on LMP 2/5, 40 wks 11/12, 42 wks 11/26). For peace of mind, we completed daily checks with an at-home doppler to get baby’s heart rate readings for 15–30 seconds per day (limited use because I still don’t trust the effects of doppler technology either) and an at-home blood pressure cuff for me. Baby is comfy and not ready to join us earthside quite yet.
On 11/21, as the actual 42 week mark approached, I called the hospital to get a quick appointment to check on my baby (turns out, it was a blessing my records were never transferred over because that 10/31 date also never transferred over and the hospital staff would’ve quite literally shit a brick if they thought I was “3 weeks overdue”).
Here’s how it went down:
1st encounter: Scheduling Admin- Seemed very confused that I was wanting to come in as a new patient past my 11/12 due date and said “Well we don’t let people go past 41 weeks, so the OB GYN will want to induce immediately.” She continued to mention induction multiple times before finally scheduling me for a 15 min appointment with my preferred OB GYN to establish care. The Scheduling Admin providing medical guidance on induction of labor? Seems questionable.
2nd encounter: Triage Nurse- “So you’re wanting to go into labor on your own and your due date was 11/12? Well there are big risks with that.” Told me my face was swollen 2x, squeezed my legs 3x and said I was puffy, then (didn’t warn she was going to, let alone ask for consent) karate chopped my knees to check reflexes and reacted with a very surprised look and a “Oh wow, that was brisk!” — all implying hypertension, even though she just checked my blood pressure and it was 125/69 (completelhy normal).
After 1.5 HOURS on the NST machine (unnecesarily long and exposing baby to more radio waves, yay) with very healthy readings from my baby, she told me “The doctor will want to induce you, so be prepared.” Why? She just “evaluated” me and my baby for almost two hours and saw very clearly that my baby is healthy.
After mentioning induction a few more times (see a theme here?), she called hospital staff to escort me down to Radiology for a biophysical profile. I was greeted by 2 staff members on either side of a wheelchair. Um, what? I’m perfectly capable of walking down to Radiology. “No, you can take a seat and let me scan your wrist.” He scanned the barcode on the wristband I was given upon “intake” and I felt just like a dog at the pound or a prisoner in jail. As he wheeled me away, the nurse turned back and said if I didn’t “pass my ultrasound” then I couldn’t be discharged and I’d need to come back up there (accompanied by the escorts and the wheelchair again…) to consult with them. All implying that I’d be forced to induce the birth of my child.
What has happened to medical freedom in 2023?!
Downstairs, the Ultrasound tech asked “Are they trying to induce you?” I told her I’m giving my body time to go to 42 weeks…. cue some more crazy looks (I’m getting used to that at this point). I “passed” with perfectly normal amniotic fluid levels and an 8/8 biophysical profile score (which is all I wanted to see out of this whole ordeal and why I made the decision to walk in for an appointment in the first place).
The staff in the Radiology/Ultrasound department said I’d been “discharged” and scooped up my barcoded wrist. Like a pound puppy with a new home, I was “free to go.”
All in all, we were at the hospital for 2 hours and the word “induce” was used at least 20x during that time frame- despite every single indication that again, my pregnancy is not high risk and there is no medical need for induction at this time AND despite the fact that not one of these people is a physician, someone I’ve ever met or established care with, and should 100% should not be doling out casual threats like they’re COVID vaccines… (which is also another story for another day).
Now over to a different building to meet with the OB GYN…
3rd encounter: OBGYN Nurse- “So your due date was 11/12? The doctor will want to induce.” I laughed and said “maybe this weekend” and she made a face like I was crazy and muttered solemnly “I’ll let you discuss that with the doctor then…”
4th encounter: OBGYN- Confirmed due date with me, then led right into ”With the last 2 women I have allowed to go to 42 weeks, their babies had shoulder dystocia. I don’t like to break babies’ bones if I don’t have to.” (yikes, there are probably much better ways to word that). Asked about my birth weight and husband’s birth weight and implied that our baby could be “too big.”
I’m aware that ‘macrosomia’ affects >8% of U.S. deliveries — labeling a baby “too big” in the 9lb range is just a label, not a “diagnosis.” I choose to believe that our bodies are divinely and uniquely designed and a pregnant woman (for the love of God, please don’t EVER refer to me as a ‘birthing person’) will not create a baby she can’t birth {more on that here}. Measured my belly- still 39cm at 41wks, arguably not trending for a “too big baby.”
Reviewed results of the ultrasound with a very-normal-for-41-weeks Grade 3 Placenta result and announced that my “placenta is getting too old and calcified.” Then declares that she wants to schedule an induction over the weekend because she “won’t let me go to 42 weeks.”
I’m already fighting hard for our baby’s medical freedom and she’s not even out of the womb yet.
We left, pleased to hear that baby’s fluids and all movements and levels are 100% normal and healthy, so we are happy to give her more time to make her arrival.
Elective inductions are terrifyingly common these days.
Here’s one of thousands of medical journals on labor induction: the statistics and the effects. And more on the consent process for IOL is here- ‘Women’s experiences of consent to induction of labour: A qualitative study.’
It’s “shocking” to most, that a woman like me would want to go past 40 or 41 weeks pregnant. But what is shocking to ME, are the countless women in pregnancy forums typing “I’m serving my baby an eviction notice at 39 weeks!” or “I’m sooo sick of being pregnant & tired so I scheduled my elective induction” or the Induction Bandwagoners starting threads to rally the pitocin troops with enticing titles like “When did you schedule your C-Section?!” as if scheduling a haircut or a manicure… if only they knew what they were getting themselves into. If only they knew they could have a trauma-free or trauma-light birth story by not messing with nature. If only they knew about the cascade of interventions.
Maybe they’re shocking to me because it took 6 years for my fertility to recover by clearing 10 years of birth control from my reproductive system. Until February 2023, I never knew if I’d ever be able to conceive and carry a child in this lifetime. And finally, at age 35, my dreams came true.
Maybe they’re shocking to me because I had a traumatic miscarriage and tried with my ex-partner to conceive for nearly 4 years after that (btw, I’d argue that ALL miscarriages are traumatic, and unfortunately so common).
Or maybe they’re shocking to me because my sweet baby has already started teaching me about self-sacrifice and how it’s my time to mature and grow into the woman I’m meant to become. I know I’m not meant to mess with nature. These past few weeks have been a total mind game with doubters, haters, and naysayers creeping in left & right. I’ve definitely had my fair share of tearful moments struggling to get my shoes on or step out of the bathtub or sleep in a comfortable position. But my baby’s comfort is more important than my own at this point. Experiencing and creating an environment for a physiological home birth, as nature intended it to be, is massively important to me. And unless 100% medically necessary (with proof, not coercion and ulterior motives), I’d never “evict” the life growing inside of me (btw, who uses words like that?! pregnancy is sacred and should be treated as such.)
The outcome?
I trusted that my body would go into labor when my baby was ready. With a supportive partner, an amazing doula, and a new midwife on my side (one who is outside of licensure and free of constricting state guidelines), our sweet baby girl was delivered naturally at home after 38 hours of labor.
According to the LMP measurement, that’s “right on time” at 41 weeks + 5 days. At a perfect 7lbs 3oz she is far from “too big.” And my “old & crusty” placenta, although showing signs of being about 42 weeks old, had only a few blemishes.
Ironically, baby joined us earthside at 1031am on 11/24/23 and the hospital called at 341pm with the OB GYN ‘s “orders” to be there at 8pm to start the induction process. OHHH HOW SATISFYING it was to let them know she’d already been delivered naturally at home!
and P.S. I took my last dose of that ill-recommended 1200mg Magnesium on Monday 11/20 at 9pm and entered active labor around 9pm on Thursday 11/23… Magnesium usually takes 24–72 hours to exit the body. Coincidence? I think not.
trust your body.
trust your baby.
trust your intuition.
